


Sun Moon and Stars

by Wheres_my_badger



Series: Little Adventures [5]
Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Age Play Caregiver Park Jinwoo, All the relationships are platonic, Embarrassed Moonbin, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Little!Moonbin, M/M, Non-Sexual Age Play, all of them take care of Moonbin, at first there's some angst, but it's too hard, but who isn't, cause this boy gives me little vibes, poor baby tries to hide, then a whole lot of fluff, they are also all very soft for Binnie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2019-08-04 19:52:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16353167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wheres_my_badger/pseuds/Wheres_my_badger
Summary: Moonbin didn't really like showing his true self to people. He had, for a long time, worked to create an image of himself, and ever since Astro debuted he had worked even harder to pass off the image he wanted. And he liked the image he had built. He was the cool guy; the witty one who made jokes and brought a smile to people's faces. He didn't mind his image. But sometimes he did wish he could let his true self show, at least when it was only him and his closest friends. More than that: he wished he himself liked and accepted his true self.(This is not an age-play story, it is an age regression (mentally regressing to a younger age to de-stress among others) story. It is tagged as ageplay just so that people who don't know the difference between ageplay and age regression can find it)





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter is a bit short, and it's just Moonbin's inner struggle and story, kinda. It's an introduction to the story ^.^

Moonbin didn't really like showing his true self to people. He had, for a long time, worked to create an image of himself, and ever since Astro debuted he had worked even harder to pass off the image he wanted. And he liked the image he had built. He was the cool guy; the witty one who made jokes and brought a smile to people's faces. He didn't mind his image. But sometimes he did wish he could let his true self show, at least when it was only him and his closest friends. More than that: he wished he himself liked and accepted his true self.

Moonbin had started working to be the funny guy of the group when he was sixteen and found himself wanting things he wasn't supposed to want. It was all an accident. His aunt had forgotten her son's pacifier at Moonbin's house, and Moonbin had been the one to find it. His first reaction should have been to tell his aunt. But it hadn’t been. Instead, he had picked the pacifier up and almost tried it, before noticing what he was about to do and throwing the thing as far from him as he could, panicking.

Since that moment, Moonbin had started noticing little things about himself. The way he always nibbled on things such as pens, straws, strings and even his fingers at times. The way he sometimes pouted and whined when he didn't get what he wanted. How he always lingered on the baby section of the stores that had them. And that freaked him out. He refused to accept that. He was sixteen. He shouldn't want those things anymore.

 

Moonbin was eighteen when he was forced to acknowledge that part of himself. Astro had just debuted, and Moonbin knew idol life was tiring and stressful, and he thought he was ready for that, but god, had he been wrong. Not that he couldn’t handle it. He could. It was just much harder than he had expected it to be, and the stress brought out things Moonbin didn’t want to think about.

So for a while he managed to keep everything under control. Until they had a fansign.

Moonbin had been ok in the beginning, happy to meet their fans and talk to them. As the event went on and the pile of cute presents increased on his table, he started feeling a little anxious. By the end of the event he was sitting on his hands whenever he wasn’t signing something to resist the urge of sucking on his thumb.

He felt ridiculous. He couldn’t believe he wanted to suck on his thumb, he couldn’t believe that kind of thought had even crossed his mind. He was usually good at supressing thoughts like that, had been doing so for two years already, why was he slipping like that? On that night, once they were home, Moonbin had curled up on his bed and gotten out his computer, and started looking for an answer to his questions.

He didn’t like what he found. After hours reading forums about ‘ageplay’, ‘little space’, and ‘ABDL’ he felt sick to his stomach. Not because he thought it was weird, although he did think it was quite freaky. But because he found himself among those posts and comments, and that made him scared and disgusted with himself.

It wasn’t normal, couldn’t be normal. He was an eighteen-year-old boy. He was supposed to be going around flirting with girls, charming people and enjoying his freedom. He wasn’t supposed to want someone to give him rules and a bedtime and treat him like a toddler. He should be enjoying the fact that he could now legally drink, without thinking that he would rather be having juice on a sippy cup than drinking soju from a shot glass.

After hours, he had closed all of the tabs on his computer and cleaned his search history, and then had put his computer away and looked up at the ceiling, listening to Dongmin’s even breathing on the bed next to him. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep, no matter how tired he was. He had to find a solution to that.

 

Finding out about ageplay had made Moonbin even more eager to hide his childish side under a mask. Sometimes a few little things slipped, like his habit of raising his finger and asking the members to choose left or right, then poking them on the opposite side they chose. Or the fact that he often got way too entertained when there were cartoons playing on the TV. But overall, he figured he managed to hide it quite well.

It didn’t, however, help him erase that part of himself. He could hide it, sure. But it was still there, waiting, and whenever Moonbin was too tired or stressed it came with full force, forcing him to excuse himself until he had it under control again. It had happened, once, during an interview, and Moonbin had almost let himself slip on that time. He hadn’t, luckily, and after it was over, he had resigned himself to the fact the he had to find a way to let that part of himself out, so that he could keep it under control.

 

The first time he let himself slip into what he found out was called ‘headspace’ he didn’t have anything. So he had just played in the bathtub, glad that the others were out or busy in their own rooms, and then he had curled up on his bed and watched cartoons while sucking on his thumb. He had fallen asleep after a few episodes of Masha and the Bear, and had woken up hours later, his thumb hurting from how hard he had been sucking on it and his glasses on the floor.

He had felt relaxed after waking up, a type of relaxation he hadn’t felt in quite some time. For about five minutes, that is, before it sunk in what he had done and the guilt and disgust hit him with full force. He had then tried to avoid doing that again, but he soon noticed he could either allow himself to do that alone or risk slipping in front of everyone. He chose the first.

He had bought things, too, after the second time he slipped. He had gotten bored quickly, that time, which was understandable since his only activity option was watching cartoons. Plus, his thumb always hurt from him sucking on it, and he didn’t want to damage his teeth. So he had gone online, cheeks burning and red the whole time, and bought a few things.

The three pacifiers were the first thing he chose. Then he had picked out a sippy cup and a pacifier clip, then a few toys he thought would be good for the age he seemed to be in headspace. It was a long process, because Moonbin often got overwhelmed and too embarrassed to continue looking at those things, and then he had to stop for a while to recover before continuing his search. He also found himself wishing he had someone to buy those for him, so he could just point out what he wanted without having to deal with the rest. He quickly pushed away that train of thought.

The package had arrived a few days later, and Moonbin made sure he had something else to show the boys when they asked what he had bought. They were impressed with his ‘new’ music mixing equipment, and Moonbin ignored the icy feeling in his stomach when he noticed his best friends would never really know him completely.

 

After that, he had found a routine. Once a week he found time for himself and took out his things, then let himself slip, and for a few hours he had no worries. He had been forced to buy diapers after having a few accidents, and much to his despair he had found out he enjoyed the feeling of wearing them. They made him feel safe and comfortable, and while adult Moonbin hated even the thought of that, little Moonbin loved wearing them.

And so he continued to live his life, passing off his though guy image and curling up with the stuffed dog he had gotten for himself in his free time. He knew it was risky, considering he shared a dorm with five people and a room with one of them. But he didn’t have much of a choice, and the relaxation that indulging himself brought was stronger than his fear of being found out.

Sometimes he got the urge to tell someone. He wasn’t just hiding something he did sometimes, he was hiding part of himself. Moonbin never let the others see his softer and more emotional side, because he knew then it would be too easy for him to slip and let them see more. And he didn’t want that.

And he knew his friends noticed something. They never asked, but Moonbin knew they sometimes wondered whether he really trusted them or not. And he did, he really did. And he wanted to show them that. But he couldn’t. If he didn’t accept himself, why would they?

He should have known, though, that his little theatre would last long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think?


	2. Chapter 2

Dongmin sighed, opening the bedroom's door. He was tired, he just wanted to lie down and… he blinked a few times, trying to process what he was seeing, but he couldn't quite understand it.

In his defence he wasn't expecting that from Moonbin. Actually, he wouldn’t expect that from anyone, but the fact that it was Moonbin made it even harder to process the situation. Moonbin was always loud and fierce, always acting as if nothing could reach or bother him, joking about everything and making people laugh. Dongmin was his best friend, and even he had never seen Moonbin being vulnerable. He hadn't ever seen Moonbin cry. Moonbin was always dominant, strong. And he was lying on his bed cuddling a stuffed toy as he sucked on a pacifier.

He looked cute, Dongmin would give him that. He was curled up on the bed, dog plushie squished against his cheek. His pacifier was light blue with a puppy paw print on the centre, and he was sucking on it contentedly, soft little noises coming from the action. On the floor, the older boy noticed, there were crayons and paper sheets. A few had drawings on them, childish drawings with lots of colours.

Dongmin moved closer to Moonbin, not sure about what course of action he should take. He stepped on a crayon as he moved, snapping it in two. He cringed and Moonbin whined, turning in his sleep. Dongmin's eyebrows almost disappeared under his bangs as he noticed something peeking out from under Moonbin's pants. Carefully, he moved again, avoiding the crayons. Then he softly lifted the elastic band of Moonbin's pants and bit on his lip to keep himself from making any noises.

Dongmin couldn't believe his eyes. He had never expected to find Moonbin - strong, fierce, witty Moonbin - asleep with a pacifier and a diaper.

He sighed, heading back to the door. He didn't know what to do. He needed help. He headed outside.

 

Jinwoo was still awake, as Dongmin had expected and hoped for. He was sitting on the couch, looking at his phone with a frown on his face. Dongmin knew he was probably sorting out their schedules, and he wouldn’t bother the older if he wasn’t completely confused as to what to do about Moonbin. He nudged Jinwoo, and the older looked up.

"Min? Why are you awake?"

Dongmin bit on his lip.

"Uhn, I... I'm not sure how to say this, hyung."

Jinwoo raised an eyebrow, expression becoming worried.

"Say what?"

He asked. Dongmin gestured for Jinwoo to follow him.

The two of them headed to Dongmin’s room, and the younger opened the bedroom door and pointed for Jinwoo to look. The leader frowned and stepped forward, then raised an eyebrow. 

"Is he...?"

"Sucking on a pacifier, yes. He's wearing diapers, too."

Jinwoo didn't move for a second. Then he looked at Dongmin.

"Has he ever... done that?"

He asked. Dongmin shook his head.

"Never seen it."

He answered. Jinwoo looked back at Moonbin, then rubbed the back of his neck.

"Uhn, I say we leave it as it is, then we can talk to him tomorrow."

Dongmin bit on his lip, but nodded. He would rather just ask Moonbin about that as soon as possible, but he had a feeling the younger wouldn’t exactly open up about this with a smile on his face. So Jinwoo was right. Better to wait for the morning, when they would all be rested and fully functioning. With a sigh, Dongmin bid the leader goodnight and entered the room, turning off the lights and heading to his bed.

 

Dongmin woke up to a faint noise. He blinked, trying to get his eyes and brain to work, then looked towards the sound.

"Bin?"

He called, figuring it could only be Moonbin. He heard a sniffle and immediately got up, turning on the light near his bed. Moonbin, who was crouched on the floor, cringed.

"N-no."

He mumbled, covering his face. Dongmin took in the scene.

Moonbin was crouched on the floor, apparently trying to pick up all of his crayons and drawings. His diaper was showing and his pacifier was on the floor, seemingly forgotten. The boy looked so small and scared at the moment that it broke Dongmin’s heart in a million pieces.

"Bin, hey. Calm down. It's ok."

He said, standing up and heading towards the boy.

"It's not. It's not, it's not, it's not."

Chanted the younger. Dongmin would have preferred to have Jinwoo with him, but there was no time to get the leader. So instead, he knelt next to Moonbin and hugged the boy.

"Shh, it's ok. Don't cry. Hyung is here. Hyung will take care of you."

He felt Moonbin resisting for a second, before slumping against him.

"I'm sorry, hyung. I'm so sorry."

Dongmin hugged him tighter.

"It's ok. You did nothing wrong. C'mon, let's go back to bed. We can talk tomorrow."

He said, pulling the younger up. Moonbin's face went red.

"I, uhn, I..."

Dongmin frowned, trying to understand what Moonbin wasn't saying with words, but with his eyes.

"You...?"

He prompted. Moonbin shook his head.

"I can't go back to sleep now."

Dongmin frowned.

"Why not?"

He asked. Moonbin didn't answer. He simply looked down, blushing. 

"I just can't."

He said, voice barely a whisper. His face was still wet with tears that continued to fall. Dongmin searched the boy for an explanation. His eyes lingered on Moonbin's crotch.

"Do you want to go change first?" Moonbin looked like he was going to pass out from embarrassment. He nodded, nonetheless. Dongmin squeezed his shoulder. "Go on, then we can cuddle and sleep."

Moonbin didn't need to be told twice, heading out of the room in a rush.

 

As the younger left, Dongmin sat on his bed, thinking about the situation. He couldn't quite understand what was going on. He knew Moonbin didn't need diapers to bed. He had shared a room and even a bed with the boy too many times not to know. And yet, the boy had clearly just wet himself while sleeping. It didn't make sense.

And then there was the pacifier. Dongmin had never seen it before, either, although a pacifier was easier to hide. It still didn't make sense, especially coupled with the crayons and drawings. Which, Dongmin noticed, were still on the floor. He picked them up, eyes lingering for a second on the colourful drawing of six people. He quickly felt guilty, though, and put the drawings away, not wanting to look without Moonbin’s consent. He picked up the crayons too, putting them with the drawings, along with Moonbin’s pacifier.

 

Moonbin entered the room a while later, closing the door softly behind him. He looked the same, except he had washed his face and was no longer crying, and his crotch looked less bulky. Dongmin offered him a smile. Moonbin looked down.

"Ready to go to bed?" The older asked, trying to be as sweet as possible. Moonbin nodded, not looking up, and headed to his bed. Dongmin got up and stopped him with a hand on the younger’s wrist. "Hey. Sleep with me today?"

He asked. Moonbin sighed, but turned around and followed Dongmin to his bed. Dongmin sighed. They would have to talk soon.

 

Moonbin groaned as he woke up and noticed he was on Dongmin’s bed. The previous night was still clear in his mind, and the idea that Dongmin had seen him brought a blush to his cheeks. He sighed and sat up, glad that the older wasn’t around anymore. He then got up, cringing as he noticed Dongmin had apparently picked up his drawings and put them away along with his crayons and pacifier. He quickly got those and shoved them back on their place, at the back of his closet, along with his stuffed dog, which he found lying on the floor.

He left the room rubbing his face. He knew Dongmin wouldn’t let this go so easily. Sooner or later he would corner Moonbin and demand he talk, and Moonbin would have no way out. But for now he could pretend nothing had happened. He entered the kitchen, frowning as he found it almost empty.

"Hyung? Where is everyone?"

He asked once he spotted Jinwoo. The leader looked up and smiled. 

"Morning, Bin. I sent the others to practice. You, me and Dongmin need to have a chat."

Moonbin paled, his hope of avoiding facing what had happened for as long as possible quickly disappearing.

"He told you?"

He asked, voice getting caught on his throat. There was also a lump lodged there, making it hard for him to breathe. Jinwoo shook his head.

"I saw it when I arrived. He told me about... what happened when you woke up during the night, but nothing I didn't already know."

Moonbin knew he was blushing. He could feel his cheeks burning.

“The others…?”

He asked. Jinwoo shook his head.

“Just Min and I. He’s showering right now. Once he gets out we can talk. C’mon, get something to eat.”

As Jinwoo looked back at his phone, Moonbin could do nothing but to sit down and wait. Wait for what, he didn’t know. For them to laugh at him? For them to tell him he was a freak? No option that crossed his head sounded very good.

He had known that it was dangerous to indulge himself while living at the dorms. It would be too easy for the others to catch him, and it would be a source of stress. That was the reason Moonbin always vowed to never do it again after allowing himself to be little. Of course, after a while, the need became too strong to ignore, and he ended up breaking his vow. And now this was the result. Moonbin hated himself a little bit more at that moment.

 

Dongmin, unfortunately, didn’t take much longer in the shower. Less than ten minutes later he was walking into the kitchen, shirtless, hair still a bit damp.

“Hyung, Bin wasn’t in my room, do you…?” He stopped once he spotted Moonbin. As their eyes met, Moonbin looked down, cheeks reddening. “Oh, hey, Bin.”

Moonbin wanted to die.

“Ok, since we’re all here, should we talk about this?”

Said Jinwoo. Dongmin sat down on the chair next to Moonbin. Moonbin shook his head. He heard the others sigh, and his eyes filled with water.

“Bin…”

Started Jinwoo. Moonbin clenched his jaw, trying not to cry. It helped keep the tears from falling, but it did nothing to keep his sobs in. He heard a chair being pulled back, and then there were strong arms around him.

“Please, Binnie. Breathe, c’mon, breathe slowly.”

Moonbin noticed two things. One: he was crying. Two: his head was spinning from how shallowly he was breathing. He gripped something, someone’s hand, and then tried to copy the pattern Jinwoo was teaching him.

Once he calmed down, Jinwoo loosened his hug and pulled back, drying Moonbin’s cheeks and caressing his hair. Moonbin looked down. He had been gripping Dongmin’s hand.

“I’m sorry.”

He said, voice cracking, and he wasn’t just apologizing for his breakdown. Jinwoo pulled a chair closer, sitting next to Moonbin. Dongmin copied him, not letting go of Moonbin’s hand until the younger pulled away.

“Don’t apologize. Now let’s start this again.” Said the leader. “Bin, we don’t know what the things we saw yesterday mean, but we won’t judge you. We want you to tell us so we can get to know you better and to help you if you ever need us to. We won’t laugh or tell anyone. Now, can you tell us about it? If you really don’t want to we won’t make you.”

Moonbin’s brain was fighting itself inside his head. On one hand he could tell them he didn’t want to talk about this, and they would never bring it up again. But that would mean Moonbin would go back to hiding in his room whenever he could and lying to his friends, and… and what was the point, when they had already seen everything? He sighed.

“It’s called ageplay.”

He said. He dug his nails on his thigh to stop his hands from shaking. Jinwoo hummed.

“Ok. And what is ageplay?”

He asked. Moonbin swallowed around the lump on his throat. His mouth was dry. It was no surprise when his voice cracked.

“I-It’s this th-thing… I… I like to p-pretend I’m younger than I r-really am. To relax. S-so I can play and rest a-and forget my responsibilities for a while. I go into headspace. I-it’s called being little. Little headspace.”

He said, and he knew he was rambling. He risked a look up. Jinwoo and Dongmin seemed interested.

“How young do you get?” Asked Dongmin. He was smiling. Moonbin blushed. He didn’t want to talk about that. “Ok, sorry. Bad question.”

Moonbin shrugged.

“It’s ok. There’s no… specific age. I like some things. I guess they help tell how old.”

Dongmin seemed excited. Moonbin wasn’t expecting that kind of reaction. He looked at Jinwoo, who was also smiling.

“And what things do you like, Binnie?”

Moonbin bit on his lip. His hand was gripping his shirt so tight he was sure he would rip it soon. Jinwoo seemed to notice that too, because he carefully pulled on Moonbin’s hand, holding it.

“It’s ok, Bin. It’s ok if you don’t want to tell us.”

Moonbin groaned.

“I don’t… it’s not like that, it’s just, I don’t… it’s hard, hyung.”

Moonbin knew he wasn’t making much sense. His eyes were watering again. Jinwoo squeezed his hand.

“Hey, relax. You want to tell us, but it’s hard? Is that it?” Moonbin nodded, using his free hand to dry his eyes. Jinwoo hummed. “We’ll help, then. You have crayons and a pacifier, right?”

Moonbin nodded. Dongmin moved a bit closer, caressing his hair, and Moonbin had never expected to get that kind of treatment. He had been avoiding and denying it for so long that he didn’t even notice how much he missed being coddled and taken care of.

“I-I have a sippy cup.”

He mumbled. He figured it was an easy enough thing to start with. Jinwoo smiled at him.

“That’s nice. What is it like?”

Moonbin blushed a bit.

“Blue. W-with starfishes.”

Dongmin chuckled.

“Must be pretty.”

He said. Moonbin’s blush deepened and he fought the part of his brain telling him to just let them take care of him.

“Min is right. What else do you have, Binnie?”

Moonbin raked his brain for the least embarrassing things he owned.

“Uhn, stu- plush toys.” He said, restraining the part of him that wanted to call the toys ‘stuffies’. “A-and building blocks.”

He said. Jinwoo raised an eyebrow.

“That’s really cool, Binnie.”

Moonbin bit on his lip.

“I-I have clothes, too.” He said, feeling more at ease. “Like onesies.”

His cheeks were red, he was sure of that. Dongmin smiled.

“Are they cute?” Moonbin nodded, looking down shyly. “What about night protection?”

Asked the singer. Moonbin’s face immediately warmed up and he tensed.

“I, that, it…” he sighed, focusing on the way Jinwoo was holding his hand. “I don’t u-use them. It’s just… comfort. Just… when I’m really sleepy…”

He didn’t finish.

“It’s ok, Bin.” Said Jinwoo, softly, his voice making Moonbin feel a bit more relaxed again. “It’s part of it, right?”

Moonbin shrugged.

“I guess…”

It wasn’t, not necessarily. Only really young littles used diapers, from what Moonbin had read. He didn’t like to think about how young he was in little space if he needed them. Jinwoo clearly sensed his discomfort, because he changed the topic.

“Well… what else can you tell us about ageplay?”

Moonbin thanked the boy. He had forgotten how tactful the older could be. Jinwoo was always playing around with them and acting silly, but he was the leader for a reason.

“Well…” he started, thinking of something that wouldn’t embarrass him further. “Some littles have c-caregivers. People that take care of them when they’re little.”

He said. Jinwoo raised an eyebrow and Moonbin saw the leader and Dongmin exchanging a look.

“Do you… have a caregiver?” Asked the leader. Moonbin shrugged, cheeks reddening. Then he shook his head. Jinwoo must have noticed something on his eyes, because he pulled Moonbin closer. “Do you want one?”

He asked. Moonbin hid his face in his free hand, looking down.

“T-this…”

He started, stopping soon after. Jinwoo hummed.

“Bin, it’s ok. Don’t be embarrassed.”

Said the leader. Moonbin shook his head.

“I shouldn’t want it.”

Dongmin put a hand on his chin and made him look up.

“Bin, this is part of this whole ageplay thing. Why can’t you want it?”

Moonbin pulled away.

“Because I shouldn’t… ageplay is weird.”

He said. Jinwoo made a noise on the back of his throat.

“No, it’s not.”

He said. Moonbin looked at him.

“Yes, hyung, it is.”

Jinwoo sighed.

“Binnie. I don’t know why you think this is so weird or bad, but… think about it a bit. You need a way to relax. Our lives are though, we have absurd schedules and responsibilities at such a young age. We need ways to cope with that. And you found one. You feel happy and comfortable when you let yourself relax and be a kid again. Why is that so wrong? There are places out there that make adult sized toys just like the ones little kids play on in the playground, but for adults. And everyone likes that, everyone thinks it’s a nice idea. So why would playing with blocks and stuffed toys be so weird?”

Moonbin looked at the older. When Jinwoo put it like that, Moonbin’s embarrassment did seem a bit nonsensical.

“People also make colouring books for adults. So why would you colouring be weird? And don’t say it’s because you colour children’s books, because those books are about kids’ cartoons, and many adults watch kids’ cartoons.”

Moonbin bit on his lip.

“I…”

He started, but he didn’t know how to finish. His head was a mess, spinning, his own thoughts fighting against what his hyungs had said. Jinwoo pulled him into a hug.

“Think a bit about this, Binnie. And if you want to talk to us about it later, you just have to call. Ok?”

He said. Moonbin panicked as the two boys started leaving. He shook his head.

“Jinwoo hyung… please stay.”

He managed to say. Jinwoo looked back, surprised. He gestured for Dongmin to go, and headed back.

“Hey, I’m here.”

He said, sitting back down next to Moonbin. For at least five minutes, neither of them spoke. Then Moonbin took a deep breath.

“If hyung leaves I’ll n-never…”

He said, hoping Jinwoo would understand.

“You won’t have the courage to talk about this again.”

Said the leader. Moonbin nodded. Jinwoo waited for him to speak again.

“I want… I need it. But I won’t be able to ask.”

He said. Jinwoo frowned, trying to decipher what Moonbin meant, and Moonbin felt bad for not being able to just say what he wanted.

“You… want to be little?”

Asked the leader. Moonbin groaned.

“Need.”

He said. Jinwoo nodded.

“You need to be little. And… you want me to… help? Like your caregiver?”

Moonbin could feel how red his face was.

“Forget a-about it, hyung. I-I’m sorry.”

Jinwoo shook his head.

“No, hey, look at me. It’s ok. If you want to, I can take care of you.”

Moonbin looked at the leader, suspicious.

“You don’t… have to, just cause you feel bad, hyung.”

Jinwoo rolled his eyes.

“I don’t do things I don’t want to do, Binnie.” Said the leader, trying to ease the tension. Moonbin sighed. “I can do it. But how can I tell when you need it?”

Moonbin looked down, fiddling with his fingers.

“E-every Thursday.”

He said. It wasn’t exactly the answer to what Jinwoo had asked. The answer to that involved lots of tell-tale signs that Moonbin was feeling little, that he wasn’t willing to tell anyone about. Jinwoo hummed.

“So that’s why you never go with us on Thursdays.” Moonbin nodded. Jinwoo smiled. “Ok. So every Thursday I’ll take care of you. Starting next week. Is that ok?”

Moonbin nodded again. Jinwoo ruffled his hair.

“Thank you, hyung.”

Moonbin said. Jinwoo smiled.

“No problem. It’s actually nice to see this softer side of you. I never knew you could be this cute.”

And saying that he left, leaving a blushing Moonbin behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now Dongmin and Jinwoo know! What did you think?
> 
> Moonbin's paci: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/24752776/
> 
> My Twitter: https://twitter.com/Jasmine07618357


	3. Chapter 3

Moonbin fidgeted in his seat as Sanha, Dongmin, Myungjun and Minhyuk left the dorm. Jinwoo had made sure his and Moonbin’s schedules were free for the day, and had told the others they would be filming with Docca before going to the company, and just like that he had gotten them a whole free day with zero difficulty. At least there was a plus side to the leader knowing his secret.

As soon as the others were gone and Jinwoo headed back to the kitchen, however, Moonbin wished the older had never found out about this. Jinwoo smiled at him.

“Ready?”

He asked. Moonbin shook his head.

He was embarrassed. He had spent the whole week worrying about what would happen when Thursday arrived, and even then he was nowhere near ready.

“I-I actually don’t feel little hyung. I think we can wait another week.”

He said. Jinwoo smiled at him.

“Binnie, can you try to relax a bit?” Moonbin took a deep breath. “Ok, good. Look, we can go as slow as you want with this. No need to hurry. I know you’re feeling little, you were sucking on your thumb earlier today. But I won’t force you into doing anything you don’t want to.”

Moonbin blushed at the mention of him sucking on his thumb. He had woken up feeling sick and stressed, and had immediately reverted to sucking on his thumb for comfort, before he noticed what he was doing and stopped. He didn’t know Jinwoo had seen.

“I don’t think I can do this, hyung.”

He said. Jinwoo sat next to him.

“Look, why don’t we do it like this: you go into your room and do what you need to do. Then, once you’re calmer you come out. You can come out after you’re feeling little, or if you want me to help you feel little. Whatever you want. What do you think?”

Moonbin bit on his lip, but the idea sounded good. Half of his fear came from the embarrassment of Jinwoo seeing him acting like a baby while he wasn’t in headspace yet. Going into his room and getting into headspace on his own eliminated that problem. Slowly, he nodded.

“Ok.”

He said. Jinwoo smiled and ruffled his hair.

“Good. Then go on.”

Moonbin got up and left the room.

He pulled his box of little stuff from his closet and opened it. He blushed at the diaper package. There was no way in hell he was going to let Jinwoo see him in those. He picked up his least childish outfit, a hoodie with a kitten in it and sweatpants, and slowly got changed.

Once he was done, he picked up his pacifier, the one with the puppy paw drawn on it. He put it in his mouth and relaxed, letting himself enjoy it. Then he eyed his box and smiled as he spotted his plush dog, picking it up.

“Fwiend.”

He said, hugging the puppy, then nuzzling his face against it.

After that, now almost fully in headspace, he grabbed his sippy cup and ventured out of his room.

 

Jinwoo looked over as he heard the sound of steps going towards him. He smiled as he saw Moonbin approaching him, a pacifier in his mouth, a pink hoodie with a kitten on it, and a plush puppy in his hands. Moonbin walked over to him and sat down on the couch, curling up against Jinwoo and hiding his face on Jinwoo’s tummy. Jinwoo smiled.

“Hello there.” He said. Moonbin mumbled something. Jinwoo laughed. “Is someone shy?”

He asked. Moonbin mumbled something else and whined. Jinwoo chuckled and ran a hand through Moonbin’s hair. Then he picked up the TV controller and changed channels to a kids’ channel. An animated song was playing while a few animals danced on screen. Jinwoo didn’t know how old Moonbin was at the moment, but he had a feeling the boy was quite young in headspace, so he figured Moonbin would enjoy the TV show. He hoped it would lure the boy out of his hiding place, at least.

As expected, a few minutes later Moonbin peeked out from his hiding place, looking at the TV. Jinwoo smiled, but said nothing. He waited and watched, until Moonbin was sitting properly next to him, eyes fixated on the TV. Jinwoo gave himself a pat in the back.

When the program ended, Jinwoo poked Moonbin’s ribs. The boy squealed, looking at Jinwoo startled. Jinwoo laughed and got up, offering his hand.

“Let’s go fill that sippy cup? You’ve been holding onto it for a while.”

He said. Moonbin looked at his hands. One of them was holding his sippy cup. The other was holding his puppy. He looked back at Jinwoo’s hand and pouted. Jinwoo laughed.

“Give me the sippy cup, Binnie. Then you can hold hyung’s hand.”

Moonbin’s face lit up and it was endearing. He handed Jinwoo the sippy cup, then happily got up and held the older’s hand, hugging his puppy to his chest. Jinwoo smiled and guided the boy to the kitchen. He left Moonbin at the table as he walked up to the freezer, picking up the apple juice he had bought for Moonbin. He filled the sippy cup and closed the freezer, walking back to Moonbin. The boy was playing with his plush toy happily, and smiled when Jinwoo handed him the sippy cup.

Jinwoo watched, amused, as Moonbin tried – and failed – to drink from the cup with his pacifier still in his mouth.

“Binnie, you have to let go of that paci if you want to drink.” He said. Moonbin pouted. Jinwoo looked at him sternly. “C’mon, give hyung the paci. I’ll give it back when you’re done with the juice.”

Moonbin sighed, but handed the pacifier over. Jinwoo took it and pinched the boy’s cheeks.

“Thank you, Binnie.”

He said. Moonbin tried to keep pouting, but a little smile was tugging on his lips.

He took the sippy cut to his mouth, drinking from it for a bit before putting it down. Then he looked at Jinwoo.

“Fwiend.”

He said, showing Jinwoo his plush toy. Jinwoo raised an eyebrow. Moonbin’s voice was higher pitched than usual, and he didn’t pronounce the ‘r’ correctly. It was endearing.

“It’s your friend? He’s cute. What’s his name?”

Moonbin tilted his head.

“Fwiend.”

He repeated. Jinwoo looked at him, confused, then snorted.

“His name is Friend?”

He asked. Moonbin nodded, excited. Jinwoo couldn’t help but to laugh at the adorableness. Moonbin frowned. Jinwoo noticed his eyes watering.

“Oh. Oh, no, Binnie, hyung wasn’t laughing at you! Hyung just thinks you and Friend are very very cute. Promise.”

And it didn’t work. Moonbin hid his face on the toy and soon he was crying. Actually crying, like a little kid, with little sobs in between. Jinwoo mentally face palmed.

Carefully, he pulled Moonbin up and pulled the boy to the living room, as Moonbin continued to cry. Then he sat down and pulled Moonbin to sit by his side, giving the boy his pacifier and hugging him, rubbing his back soothingly.

“Shh, it’s ok, Binnie. Don’t cry, hyung didn’t mean to upset you. Can you forgive hyung?” Moonbin continued to cry, although his lips were now closed around the pacifier. Jinwoo looked at the plush toy on his hands. “Friend, Jinwoo hyung really upset Binnie. But hyung didn’t mean to. Now Binnie is sad. What can Jinwoo hyung do to make him happy again?”

He asked. At that Moonbin looked up, sniffing. Jinwoo looked at him expectantly.

“T-Tisses.”

He said. Jinwoo smile widely.

“You want kisses? Where? Maybe… on your cheek?” He said, pressing a kiss to Moonbin’s cheek. Moonbin giggled. “Or your tummy?”

He said, blowing a raspberry on Moonbin’s tummy. The boy giggled, tears already forgotten, and Jinwoo proceeded to kiss him everywhere, until the boy was laughing freely. He ended it with a kiss to Moonbin’s forehead, which had the boy leaning against him and smiling as he lay against Jinwoo’s chest.

“Is Binnie happy now, Friend?”

He asked. Moonbin giggled and made the puppy nod its head.

“’appy.”

He said. Jinwoo smiled.

“Good. Then can Binnie let hyung get up to get toys so we can play?”

Moonbin’s eyes widened and he sat up clapping.

“Toys!”

He said, and Jinwoo ruffled his hair, getting up.

 

Jinwoo watched with a smile on his face as Moonbin played around with his stuffed puppy and building blocks. The boy didn’t have much coordination. The tallest ‘tower’ he had managed to make was three blocks tall, and then it had fallen when he put the fourth on top, and the boy had pouted, before starting again. Eventually he gave up, making a bunch of three blocks high towers before making the plush toy walk around them.

More than once he hit one of the towers while trying to navigate through them, but he didn’t seem to mind, stopping to put it back up before re-starting his play. It was entertaining to watch him. He mumbled to himself as he played, and Jinwoo understood a word or two every so often, but the focused look on Moonbin’s face was the best part.

After a while watching the boy, he decided it was ok to check on his phone and work on something while the boy played. He turned on the TV and found a children’s channel, leaving it on with the lowest volume, before picking his computer up and opening it. He didn’t even notice the time passing, until he felt a pull on his pants’ leg. He looked down. Moonbin was kneeling by his feet, looking up at him with big round eyes, pacifier in his mouth.

“Hey, Binnie. Want something?” He asked. Moonbin whined and rubbed his tummy. Jinwoo looked at the time and his eyes widened. “Oh, wow, it’s late. You must be starving. Come on, let’s get you something to eat.”

He said, getting up and offering his hand. Moonbin let himself be pulled into the kitchen, puppy still in his grip, and Jinwoo was beginning to notice the boy wouldn’t go anywhere without that toy.

He left Moonbin once again by the table while he found something to give the boy. He figured something like mashed potatoes with peas and cut up chicken would be a good option, and had prepared the meal beforehand, so he avoided a major tantrum from Moonbin by serving his food in record time. Then he noticed Moonbin staring at the food and cutlery as if it was an alien species and chuckled.

He put the chopsticks back in place and grabbed a spoon, sitting next to Moonbin and putting some food on the spoon.

“C’mon, Binnie, open up.”

He said. Moonbin must have been hungry, because he immediately obeyed. Jinwoo smiled as he fed the boy. Moonbin was adorable, humming as he ate and chewing happily, his eyes crinkling from his giggles. He accidently hit Jinwoo’s hand three times, getting food to fall on the table, and the little sad frown on his face each time was too cute to handle, and Jinwoo had to reassure him it was ok time and time again.

Once they finished, Jinwoo wondered when and how Moonbin had managed to peas in his hair and chicken in his legs. He made a mental note to buy a bib and helped Moonbin stand up.

“You, sir, need a bath.”

He said. Moonbin squealed.

 

Surprisingly, Moonbin was incredibly easy to bathe. He stayed quiet and let Jinwoo wash him, only giggling at the bubbled Jinwoo made on the water and leaning into the older’s touch when Jinwoo rubbed his head. The only problem had risen when Jinwoo made to take the boy’s puppy away, which almost ended in tears before Jinwoo promised that Friend would be on the counter, keeping an eye on Moonbin at all times.

After the bath Jinwoo led the boy to his room, finding what he assumed was Moonbin’s box still open on the floor. He looked inside and spotted a kitten onesie. With a smile, he picked up. He considered, for a second, putting a diaper on the boy. On the first time Jinwoo saw him, the boy was wearing one, and when they talked about it the younger had said it was for comfort and occasional accidents.

He looked at Moonbin. The boy seemed comfortable enough, cuddling his puppy. They probably wouldn’t need it. He dressed the boy in his onesie and then kissed the boy’s forehead, because Moonbin looked adorable.

“Ok, Binnie. Now what do you want to do?”

He asked.

“Tayo.”

Moonbin said, after a few seconds thinking. Jinwoo smiled.

“Ok. Come on, sit on the bed and wait a second, ok?”

He said, getting the boy comfortable in his bed. He then left and picked up his computer, going back into the room and making himself comfortable next to Moonbin.

He put on the TV show and watched as Moonbin smiled happily, humming along with the little opening song.

 

Moonbin fell asleep around the end of the second episode. As soon as he was sure the boy was asleep, Jinwoo silently closed his computer and got up, lying the boy down and covering him, smiling at the cuteness of the scene. Moonbin whined as he pulled his puppy closer, then quietened down again, and Jinwoo sighed thankfully.

He left the room on the tip of his toes and headed to the kitchen.

As he cleaned everything up, he thought about the day so far. Taking care of Moonbin was fun. The boy seemed to be very young in headspace, but he played well alone, and wasn’t that clingy. Jinwoo wondered if that had to do with the fact that in his adult headspace Moonbin kept so many things to himself. Maybe, Jinwoo thought, the boy would slowly become sweeter and clingier as he got used to Jinwoo.

Despite that, Moonbin was adorable. The way he treasured his stuffed puppy and the way he was constantly humming children’s songs were endearing, and so was the way he sucked on his pacifier and asked Jinwoo for things.

Once he was done on the kitchen he picked up Moonbin’s toys from the living room and headed back to the boy’s room, putting everything in the box and closing it, leaving it by Moonbin’s closet so he could put it inside once Moonbin was back in his adult headspace.

 

Jinwoo was sitting on Dongmin’s bed on his computer when he heard Moonbin gasp. He looked towards the boy, seeing Moonbin sitting up in his bed.

“Binnie?”

He asked. Moonbin looked at him, startled, then pulled his knees closer to his face and promptly started crying. For a second Jinwoo didn’t move, not knowing what to do. Then he got up and approached the boy, putting a hand on Moonbin’s hair and caressing it.

“Hey, don’t cry, Binnie. It’s ok. Hyung is here.” He said. Moonbin simply gripped his puppy tighter and continued to cry. “Binnie, you’re making Friend sad. You don’t want Friend to be sad, do you?”

This seemed to work. Moonbin looked up, tears still running down his face, but he stopped sobbing and looked at the puppy.

“C’mon, Binnie. Can you tell hyungie what happened?” Asked the leader, drying the tears on the boy’s cheeks. Moonbin shook his head. Jinwoo sighed. “Why not? Hyungie needs to know so he can help Binnie.”

He said. Moonbin shook his head.

“Binnie bad.”

He said. Jinwoo frowned.

“What? Who said that? Tell me, I’ll give them a good scolding.”

Moonbin sniffed, rubbing his eyes.

“Bad.”

He repeated. Jinwoo sighed, looking the boy over and trying to understand what the problem was. Then something occurred to him and he frowned.

“Binnie, can you get up for hyungie?”

He asked. Moonbin’s eyes welled up once again and he shook his head with all his might.

“Hyungie angwy.”

He said. Jinwoo sighed.

“Binnie, hyungie won’t be mad cause you had an accident. Accidents happen. Come on, get up so we can get you out of those yucky clothes and get you all cleaned up.”

He said. Moonbin pouted, hiding his face on his stuffed puppy, but got up. Jinwoo held the boy’s hand and guided Moonbin to the bathroom.

Once inside he helped Moonbin undress and gave him a quick shower, not washing his hair since he had done that earlier, already. Then, once he was done with that, he dried Moonbin and guided the boy back to his room. This time he didn’t hesitate before picking the boy’s diaper up and putting it on him, choosing the baby blue onesie to dress Moonbin in. Once that was done, he pulled Moonbin to Dongmin’s bed and hugged the boy from behind, letting Moonbin rest against his chest.

“See? Now you’re warm and comfy. Isn’t it better like this?” Moonbin nodded, playing with his puppy silently. “If you ever have an accident or need anything you can tell hyungie, ok, Binnie?”

Moonbin nodded again. Jinwoo kissed the top of his head and hugged him tighter. Moonbin leaned more against him and hid his face in Jinwoo’s chest.

“Love you, hyungie.”

He mumbled. Jinwoo smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Opinions and suggestions?? ^.^


	4. Chapter 4

Moonbin felt disgusting. It was a horrible feeling, and he had only felt like that once before, when he first let himself be little. And now he was feeling it again. Because Jinwoo had seen him. Because he had taken care of Moonbin. Because Moonbin had liked the care and attention, when he was supposed to hate it. He felt disgusting, and even thinking about his box of ‘little stuff’ was making him anxious and nauseous at the moment.

Jinwoo had been good to him. He had spent the day taking care of Moonbin, and then had left Moonbin alone when the younger asked him to, once he was out of headspace, and hadn’t been prying and trying to get things out of Moonbin. On one hand, Moonbin was thankful. The last thing he wanted after embarrassing himself in front of the older like he had was to spill all of his doubts and insecurities to him too. On the other hand… Moonbin wished someone would hug him and hold him, and tell him it was ok, and that this horrible feeling would pass. Because at the moment he felt like it would last forever.

 

Jinwoo tried to talk to him about the whole regression thing and Moonbin’s weird behaviour since then four days after watching over Moonbin. He had waited for everyone to settle down doing their own things to sit next to Moonbin, quietly slipping his hand on the younger’s, a gesture probably supposed to be reassuring.

“Bin, can we talk?”

Asked the leader. Moonbin had to fight ten different emotions to nod. The older smiled and got up, letting go of Moonbin’s hand and heading to his room, gesturing for the younger to follow. Once they were settled on Jinwoo’s bed, the older spoke up.

“You’ve been sad.”

Moonbin hadn’t expected that. Moody, angry, tired, maybe. But not sad. He didn’t know he looked sad. He hadn’t noticed he _felt_ sad until that exact moment.

“I…”

He tried to say, but didn’t know how to complete. Jinwoo waited, but when he noticed nothing else was going to come out he put his hand on Moonbin’s knee.

“Is it because of last Thursday?” He asked. Moonbin nodded. “Did you not like it? Did I make you upset?”

Asked the older. Moonbin shook his head, his eyes watering.

“I… I should have hated it.”

He managed to say, barely keeping the tears in. Jinwoo squeezed his knee softly.

“Why were you supposed to hate it?”

He asked. Moonbin couldn’t look at him.

“I-I’m too old. I, this is wrong.”

By his side, Jinwoo sighed.

“I thought we talked about this already.”

He said, but it was sweet, not accusing or angry. Moonbin felt a tear fall. He hated crying in front of other people.

“You don’t know how it is, hyung.”

He said. Jinwoo hummed.

“You’re right, I don’t know how it is for you. I know how it is for me, though. And do you know how I felt taking care of you?” He asked. Moonbin looked at him for the first time, tears streaming down his face. He shook his head. “I felt happy. Happy and relaxed.”

Moonbin tilted his head. Jinwoo seemed sincere enough, but Moonbin couldn’t conciliate that idea with his own ideas.

“Hyung, you, you had to bathe me. A-and change my bed sheets.”

He said, cheeks reddening just from the memory. Jinwoo shrugged.

“It’s part of the experience. I didn’t mind. Plus, I wouldn’t have had to change sheets if you were wearing your diapers, which I should have put on you.”

Moonbin cringed, cheeks reddening even more.

“Don’t you see how wrong that sounds, hyung? Everything you’re saying?”

Jinwoo shook his head.

“You can convince yourself that it’s wrong, Bin, but not me. I don’t see anything wrong with it.”

Moonbin sighed.

“Hyung, this is practically you getting a kid you never asked for. You… you’ll never be able to see me as a friend anymore, because you’ll be taking care of me, and feeding me, and, and…”

He stopped talking, sobbing and hiding his face in his hands. Jinwoo carefully pulled him into a hug. He let Moonbin cry without saying anything, and Moonbin let himself cry, not caring anymore that Jinwoo would see him. He just wanted to be held and taken care of.

Once he stopped crying, Jinwoo pulled away.

“Can I give you my opinion now?” Moonbin nodded. “How many times a week do you feel little? And be honest with me, Bin, please.”

Moonbin bit on his lip for a second, before sighing.

“About two.”

He said. Jinwoo hummed.

“Right. So this means you need someone to take care of you twice a week. During the other five days, how old do you feel?”

Moonbin couldn’t quite see where Jinwoo wanted to get to.

“Eighteen.”

He answered, anyways. Jinwoo nodded.

“This means, Bin, that twice a week I see you like my friend who needs time to de-stress and does that by acting and playing like a child. The other five days you’re my perfectly capable and mature band mate, who helps me practice choreographies and get the others out of bed. Do you see how different that is from having a kid, Bin?”

Moonbin did. He did see it. And he wanted to believe Jinwoo. So he took a deep breath.

“I’m… I’ve been building this image of myself, hyung. Since I was sixteen. I don’t know… how to deal with this.”

Jinwoo nodded.

“I get that. But can get through this together, Binnie. Do you trust hyung?”

Moonbin didn’t even hesitate before nodding. Jinwoo smiled.

“Then trust me on this. We’ll get through this.”

 

After that talk, Jinwoo sent Moonbin a few links. At first Moonbin refused to look. Just the titles were too much for him. Then, as he slowly started forgetting the embarrassment of waking up remembering Jinwoo taking care of him, he decided to give the links a chance. All of them were forums talking about age regression. Moonbin could tell Jinwoo had spent quite some time looking for them, and the thought did make Moonbin feel a kind of safe warmth in his chest. And so he started reading.

He read about things he had already read before, but also found out about new things. He learned about the push and pull cycle of wanting and being repulsed by the regression, and he saw himself in that. And then he came across a text of someone talking about how to deal with that. Moonbin read that one carefully. By the end of it, he took a deep breath and closed his computer, letting the words sink in. That night, he fell asleep thinking about those words.

The next day was a Thursday. Moonbin hadn’t been feeling particularly little for the week, but he knew now that was part of that unhealthy cycle. So, gathering all of his courage, he walked up to Jinwoo’s bed as soon as he woke up. He carefully lay down next to the leader and closed his eyes, putting his thumb in his mouth – and ignoring the way he felt his cheeks redden – and hoping Jinwoo would understand what that meant when he woke up.

 

Jinwoo woke up to Moonbin lying on him. He smiled as he noticed the boy’s thumb between his lips, and carefully got up, deciding to get everyone ready and out before waking Moonbin up.

It wasn’t hard getting the others out. Dongmin knew why he had to go, and Jinwoo was the leader, so he did have some power over the others. And like that, soon it was only him and Moonbin in the dorm. Jinwoo quickly made the younger breakfast, a bowl of cut up fruit and a piece of toast in the form of a dinosaur. The toast wasn’t his prettiest artwork, but it was recognizable and kind of cute. Probably enough. Then he headed to the room.

Moonbin had pulled the bed sheets close to his chest and was hugging it. His thumb was still in his mouth, but his nose was scrunched up, face contorted in a grimace. Jinwoo walked up to him, softly caressing the boy’s hair as he sat next to Moonbin.

“Binnie.” He called. “It’s time to wake up, little one.”

He said. He had decided he would help Moonbin get into headspace, unless the younger told him to stop. By his side, Moonbin whined and opened his eyes. He blinked at Jinwoo, then his face reddened and he took his thumb from his mouth.

“H-hyung…”

He started. Jinwoo smiled.

“Hey, little one. Slept well?”

He asked. Moonbin looked away, sitting up and fidgeting with his pyjama’s t-shirt.

“Y-yeah, hyung.”

He said. Jinwoo hummed.

“That’s good, Binnie. Here, do you want your paci?”

The older offered, knowing the item would help get Moonbin into his headspace. The younger squirmed.

“N-no. Bathroom.”

He said, voice so low Jinwoo barely heard it. But he did hear, and raised an eyebrow. Was Moonbin really asking…?

“You want hyung to take you to the bathroom?”

He asked. Moonbin nodded. Jinwoo took a second to process the information, then got up and offered a hand.

He led Moonbin to the bathroom, and the boy asked him to stay outside. But he didn’t close the door as he sat down to pee, which probably meant something. It meant that Jinwoo was getting there. Moonbin was slowly slipping into his headspace, and Jinwoo was the cause of it. The younger was putting a lot of trust in him, and Jinwoo felt proud.

Once Moonbin was done he walked back out, and Jinwoo chuckled, taking the boy back inside and helping Moonbin wash his hands. Then he took the boy back to his room.

“Ok, little one, let’s put you on some better clothes, and then we can have breakfast, ok?”

Moonbin nodded, smiling slightly. Jinwoo ruffled his hair and pulled out Moonbin’s box of little stuff.

He chose one of Moonbin’s onesies, then, remembering his mistake the previous time, took one of the diapers too. He helped Moonbin out of his pyjamas, then picked up the clothes he had chosen.

“Can you lie down for me, Binnie?” He asked. Moonbin eyed the diaper in Jinwoo’s hand and shook his head, cheeks reddening. Jinwoo sighed. “It’s just to be safe, baby.”

He said. Moonbin shook his head again.

“Don’ wanna.”

He said. Jinwoo bit on his lip, then looked back inside the box.

“What if Friend stays with you the whole time?”

He asked, picking up Moonbin’s stuffed puppy and showing it to the boy. Moonbin’s eyes widened and whined, making grabby hands at the puppy. Jinwoo smiled and gave him the toy. Moonbin rubbed his face against the puppy, a soft smile gracing his lips. Then he looked and Jinwoo and with a sigh he lay down.

 

Once Moonbin was dressed for the day, Jinwoo took his to the kitchen. He filled the boy’s sippy cup with orange juice and placed it by the boy’s food, then helped Moonbin sit down on his chair. As soon as Moonbin spotted the dinosaur toast his eyes widened. He looked at the toast, then at Jinwoo, and then he let out the softest little giggle Jinwoo had ever heard. It warmed his heart to hear that, and he chuckled.

“Did you like it, little one?” Moonbin nodded eagerly. Jinwoo smiled and sat next to him, picking up the fruit bowl. “That’s great. So how about you eat your fruits so you can eat the toast?”

He suggested. Moonbin eagerly opened his mouth, a sign he wanted Jinwoo to feed him, and Jinwoo complied.

“’yung, pway bwocks?”

The boy asked, halfway through the fruit bowl. Jinwoo gave him a stern look.

“Don’t speak with your mouth full, Binnie.”

He said. Moonbin quickly nodded, chewing and swallowing.

“Sowy, ‘yung.”

He said. Jinwoo smiled.

“Apology accepted. And yes, we can play with blocks. After you’re done eating.”

Moonbin smiled happily, accepting another spoonful of fruit.

 

Once they were done with the food, without any major incidents, Jinwoo brought out Moonbin’s building blocks. He set them on the floor and, to his surprise, Moonbin asked for Jinwoo to sit with him while he took the blocks out of their box.

Once everything was out, Moonbin turned to Jinwoo.

“’yung help make maze?”

He asked. Jinwoo raised an eyebrow, but nodded.

“Sure, Binnie. Hyung can help you make a maze.”

And slowly they started building a maze.

Moonbin clearly didn’t exactly understand the concept of maze. He made way too many straight lines where one could only go one way, and even those were a bit wonky. So Jinwoo took it upon himself to make it a bit harder for the boy to navigate later, which he supposed was the purpose of that.

Once they were done, Moonbin stepped back and smiled proudly.

“Pwetty.”

He said. Jinwoo wouldn’t use that word in that situation, but he nodded.

“You did a good job, little one.”

Moonbin beamed at him. Then he lifted his puppy.

“Fwiend find the way!”

He said, and put the puppy on the entrance, and Jinwoo couldn’t help but to smile as Moonbin quickly became absorbed in the play, trying to navigate the many ways Jinwoo had created, speaking to his stuffed toy and answering himself in what Jinwoo supposed was the toy’s voice.

 

Moonbin played in the maze for quite some time, and Jinwoo half watched him and half played on his phone at all times. Once the boy got bored they moved on to drawing, and then quickly to playing pretend, because keeping Moonbin’s attention required something that involved moving and thinking and solving. They were in the middle of fighting a big bad dragon when Jinwoo’s cell phone pinged with a notification and he paused their adventure, picking it up and reading the messaged. Once he finished he turned to Moonbin.

“Hey, Binnie, what do you say we take our adventure to your room, baby?”

Moonbin frowned.

“But dwagon hewe.”

He said, sounding upset. Jinwoo glanced at the door.

“I know, baby, but the others had a problem and they’re coming home now. We have to go in.”

He said. At that Moonbin’s eyes widened and Jinwoo could see the moment the boy slipped out of headspace. He cursed internally. He was pretty sure slipping out of headspace that suddenly wasn’t healthy. Moonbin’s cheeks reddened and he let go of his puppy, getting up and heading to the bathroom without saying anything. Jinwoo only sighed and started cleaning everything up. They would have to talk later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda short, and I didn't re-read so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes 
> 
> What did you guys think? Comments are welcome and appreciated ^.^


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kinda adapted from littlebutterflyexplores42, than you for the idea!

Moonbin was trying. He really was. The words he had read on that one post, about how to avoid falling into the push and pull cycle of want and disgust with his headspace, kept running around his head. And he tried to think about them, tried to stick to the rules to avoid being washed over by that horrid feeling of embarrassment that left him feeling like nothing would ever be ok again. But the task was proving itself quite hard.

The boy knew it was because of how abruptly he had gotten out of headspace, and partially because of the reason why he had gotten out of headspace. Jinwoo telling him they should go inside the room because the others were going home reminded Moonbin that this was a _secret_. It wasn’t normal, and it wasn’t something he could do comfortably, because there was always the risk of him being found out. And the others couldn’t find out because this was wrong. So he was glad Jinwoo had warned him, instead of letting the others walk in on him in headspace, but it made the task of accepting his headspace much harder.

And that is how, on the day after his little trip to little space, Moonbin decided he would throw away everything in his box of little stuff.

 

Jinwoo sighed as he watched Moonbin. The boy hadn’t been as miserable as he had been on the first time he went into headspace around Jinwoo, far from that. Moonbin actually looked fine, as if nothing had happened. But even if the boy seemed perfectly fine, Jinwoo could tell there was something wrong. He didn’t push. He knew Moonbin needed his space, and Jinwoo forcing him to talk about whatever was bothering him would only push the boy further into his shell. So he left the boy alone. Maybe that was his mistake.

Thursday came. Jinwoo sighed sadly as he woke up alone in his bed. He had recognized Moonbin going to sleep with him the week before as a sign that the boy was willing to try and let Jinwoo take care of him, that he only needed Jinwoo to take the first step. The fact that the boy hadn’t repeated that… Jinwoo hoped his assumptions were wrong.

He got up and walked around, waking everyone up, and frowned when he stopped by Moonbin’s bed and took a good look at the boy’s face, noticing the dark bags under his eyes. That was definitely not a good sign. He softly woke the boy up, like he had done on the previous week, knowing it wouldn’t be much of a problem to act like that around Dongmin, who already knew about Moonbin’s headspace. Except Moonbin woke up and immediately pulled away from Jinwoo. The flash of panic that crossed his eyes didn’t go unnoticed by the older. It was soon substituted by a blank face.

“I’m up, hyung. You can wake Dongmin hyung up and go.”

Said the boy. Definitely not a good sign.

“Bin…”

Jinwoo started. Moonbin frowned.

“I said you can go, hyung.”

The boy repeated, voice cold. Jinwoo internally cursed.

“If that’s what you want…”

He said. As he turned around, he saw something flash on Moonbin’s eyes. Something between regret and want and sadness. So maybe this wasn’t a completely lost cause. He would have to wait and watch. He only noticed that maybe he should actually have pushed the boy when it was too late.

 

Moonbin cursed as he bit on his tongue while eating his lunch. The day had been going badly. He had been fighting his little side since the moment Jinwoo woke him up – since five days earlier, actually, but he decided not to count those –, and the boy wasn’t making it easier to him, trying to help and take care of Moonbin constantly.

Moonbin had been trying to keep his distance, trying to avoid Jinwoo, but it was hard, and the little side of him that wanted nothing but to curl up on Jinwoo’s arms with his pacifier and plush puppy wasn’t helping, either. So Moonbin was having a bad day, and little things that he usually didn’t even notice were making him angrier than they should.

He snapped at Minhyuk for singing silly songs in the practice room as they warmed up, and snapped at Sanha for making funny faces at Jinwoo as they took a five-minute break in between run-throughs of their choreography. Deep inside he felt guilty about that, the looks on the boys’ faces making him regret his actions and apologize immediately. But that didn’t erase what he had done, and made obvious Moonbin was struggling with something. He didn’t like that.

He had also screamed all the swear words he knew when he dropped his water bottle on the floor, spilling half of his water. That had been the moment Myungjun had asked him if everything was alright.

“I’m fine, hyung.”

Had been his answer. He was definitely not fine.

And now he had bit on his tongue, and it freaking hurt like hell, and he could feel tears welling up in his eyes and it was all too much for him. He cursed as he waited for it to stop hurting, and looked away from the others so that his tears would dry up before they saw them. And then Jinwoo was by his side.

“Bin. You’re clearly not feeling well. Why don’t you go back to the dorms and rest for a bit?”

Jinwoo had said it as a suggestion, a question, but the moment their eyes met Moonbin knew he had no choice. Sighing, he got up. He didn’t say anything to the others as he left.

 

The first thing he did as he arrived at the dorms was to throw himself on his bed. He was tired. He was so tired. He had been fighting against his headspace all week, trying hard not to open the little cabinet where he had locked his little stuff in to get everything out. He hadn’t had the courage to throw everything away, obviously not. He wasn’t that strong. And the fact that he was barely strong enough to avoid unlocking the cabinet and getting his things back annoyed him even more.

He sighed. Besides tired he felt uncomfortable, and he knew that had less to do with how sweaty he was from practice and more to do with how angry he felt with who he was, but he still tried to pretend. He stood up, walking up to his closet and opening it. He just wanted some more comfortable clothes. It was an easy task. Except he hit his knee as he tried to open the door, bringing tears to his eyes, and as he crouched down to look at it something rolled out of the closet.

The stuffed puppy Moonbin hadn’t had the strength to lock away stared at him from where it had fallen down as if laughing at him. And that was it. With a frustrated half-scream Moonbin grabbed the toy and climbed down the stairs of their building, opening the doors and throwing the puppy in the first trashcan he found outside. Then he stormed back in and once he was back in his room he let himself fall down on the bed, and after god knows how long crying he simply fell asleep.

 

It took about an hour for Moonbin to wake up from his nap.

He woke up to the sound of laughter, which meant the others were back. He sighed. He didn’t want to face anyone at the moment. He turned around in his bed and he only noticed he felt extremely close to falling into little space when, in his sleepy haze, his hand instinctively reached for his plush puppy. And then what he had done before falling asleep dawned on him. For a moment, his heart stopped.

It took one second for Moonbin to get up and run out of the room. When he did, he ran straight into Sanha, almost knocking both of them down.

“Ouch! Hyung! What the hell?”

Asked the youngest, half laughing and half wincing in pain. But Moonbin didn’t pay attention. He simply ran around Sanha and out of the dorm, ignoring the way the others were calling him, sounding worried and confused. He ran down the stairs, not caring about how he looked at the moment. Once he reached the entrance of the building he ran outside, looking into the trashcan he had used earlier, and… and his puppy wasn’t there. Moonbin felt like he was going to throw up.

He tried to keep calm, despite his raged breath, and looked into each and every trashcan around, even though he knew exactly which one he had thrown the toy in. As the cans ended and he didn’t find it, he felt despair bubbling up in his stomach. He had lost his puppy. He had thrown it away and lost it. He didn’t have it anymore. He didn’t have it anymore.

At that moment everything became too much. Moonbin didn’t remember he was an artist who could afford breaking down just anywhere. He didn’t remember his friends who were probably coming to look for him. He only sat down by the building’s entrance and cried, hiding his face in his hands.

He heard Jinwoo and Myungjun calling his name, he felt the two boys approaching him, but he could barely make out what they were saying. And then… and then something touched his cheek and Moonbin looked up in a second, eyes widening as he saw his puppy right there.

 

Jinwoo’s heart broke in a million pieces at the sob that left Moonbin’s mouth as the boy took the plush toy from his hands and hugged it to his chest. He knew Myungjun was completely confused, just like Sanha and Minhyuk, who were still upstairs. But now was not the moment to explain anything. He crouched down in front of Moonbin.

“Binnie, c’mon. Let’s go upstairs. I think you and Friend need a bath.”

He said. Moonbin didn’t resist when Jinwoo pulled him up, clinging to the older as well as he could considering how much taller than Jinwoo he was and the fact that he was still clutching his toy as if his life depended on that.

To Myungjun’s credit, he didn’t ask anything. His face was a mix of confusion and worry, but he said nothing as the three of them climbed the stairs to their dorm, letting Jinwoo to quietly comfort Moonbin. Once inside the dorm, the others seemed to also notice the situation was fragile, as they let Jinwoo through without a word.

Jinwoo could tell Moonbin was in headspace. And he knew he had to be careful now. So he led Moonbin to the bathroom and sat him down on the closed toilet, closing the door before speaking up.

“Binnie, can you look at hyung?”

He asked. Moonbin sniffed and obeyed. Jinwoo caressed his hair.

“Look, hyungie needs to go get a few things to get you and Friend ready to bed. Is that ok?”

He asked. Moonbin immediately shook his head.

“No awone.” He said. “Binnie and Fwiend no awone.”

Jinwoo sighed. He had half expected that.

“Ok. Then is it ok if hyung calls Minnie hyung to stay with you?”

Moonbin hesitated for a second, then nodded.

“Otay.”

He replied. Jinwoo kissed his forehead and called Dongmin in.

 

Dongmin had been looking forward to seeing Moonbin in headspace ever since the younger had opened up to them about his age regression. The idea was cute. It would have been cute with anyone, obviously, but the fact that it was Moonbin made it even cuter, since they rarely got to see the boy’s softer side. But this was not how he wanted this to go.

His heart ached as he entered the bathroom to find Moonbin crying, holding a stuffed puppy as close to his chest as physically possible. The boy looked up at him. Then he reached for Dongmin with one hand, and Dongmin practically melted, hurrying to the boy’s side and pulling Moonbin into a hug. It was an awkward position, and Dongmin’s knees would begin hurting in a few seconds, but at the moment he didn’t mind.

“Hey, baby. You know who I am, right?”

He asked. He had done his research, and he knew a few regressors needed you to introduce yourself to them if you had never met them while regressed. Apparently, it wasn’t Moonbin’s case.

“Mi-minnie ‘yung.”

He said, still crying. Dongmin pulled back a bit and sat on the floor, carefully pulling Moonbin to sit on his lap.

“That’s right, Binnie. You’re such a smart boy.”

He praised. Moonbin curled up on his lap.

“S-sma’t?”

He asked. Dongmin could have died at the cuteness. He was a bit awkward with kids – and Moonbin was basically that, at the moment. A kid. –, but he didn’t think he was doing too bad of a job. At least Moonbin was stopping his crying.

“Yup. The smartest little boy I know.”

He said. Moonbin looked up at him, his puppy eyes wide and incredibly innocent. Dongmin used his sleeve to dry the boy’s face. Moonbin sniffed and snuggled back against Dongmin.

“Fan’ you, ‘yung.”

He said, quietly. Dongmin couldn’t resist putting his arms around the boy and hugging him, kissing the top of his head.

“You’re welcome, Binnie.”

 

Jinwoo knew they had to talk to the others and explain everything. They had all seen Moonbin break down. They had seen the way he was acting during the day and had seen Jinwoo and Dongmin taking him to his bedroom, pacifier in his mouth and stuffed toy in his hands. Of course they would ask questions. But Jinwoo decided they would have to live with their questions for a while. For now, Moonbin needed him, and he wasn’t about to abandon the boy.

“I know you’re all curious, guys, but now really isn’t the best time.”

He said. He could see the others were worried, which was a better reaction than, say, disgust, considering Moonbin _had_ just walked past them wearing diapers under his sweatpants.

“It’s nothing serious, is it, hyung?”

Asked Sanha. Jinwoo almost smiled. He knew they were good people, all of them.

“It’s nothing serious. Don’t worry, ok? Just go to sleep, and then tomorrow we’ll talk.”

And with that each of them headed to their own room, and Jinwoo headed to Moonbin’s. He lay down next to the boy and Moonbin immediately curled up against him. Jinwoo kissed his forehead.

“Goodnight, Binnie.”

Moonbin didn’t reply, just pressed closer and instantly fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This..... ended up a lot more angsty then I intended. ANYWAYS, go listen to All Night, guys, Astro deserves all the love, specially for this comeback!!!!
> 
> As always, comments and suggestions are welcome and appreciated!


	6. Chapter 6

Jinwoo woke up before Moonbin, probably out of anxiety. He had had the worst night, so worried about waking up to see Moonbin gone – probably hiding somewhere – that every slight noise woke him up. He sighed as he looked at the time after waking up for the nth time. Eight in the morning. Still too early, considering he had given everyone a free day, but at least not early enough for him to convince himself he should go back to sleep for a while longer.

He looked to his side. Moonbin was asleep, his head resting on Jinwoo’s left arm, and he was still clinging to his stuffed puppy and sucking on his pacifier. Jinwoo was pretty sure the boy would be out of headspace as soon as he woke up, considering the way he had dropped, but he still hoped.

After watching the younger for a while, he gently moved his arm before getting up and grabbing his computer to pass time as he waited for Moonbin to wake up.

 

It was only nine something when Jinwoo heard someone shuffling around and looked up to see Moonbin sitting up, rubbing his eyes with the hand that was holding his toy. He looked adorable. Jinwoo could feel himself melting, because Moonbin looked so absolutely soft, and all Jinwoo wanted was to hug him and protect him from everything bad in the world. He didn’t do that. They needed to have a talk, first.

“Morning.”

He chose to say. As he expected, Moonbin’s eyes widened and he dropped his puppy, pulling out his pacifier.

“What…?”

He started to ask, and then his face became red as he squirmed. Jinwoo saw the moment the boy’s eyes filled with tears, and he saw the moment the boy made to get up to run away. But he refused to let Moonbin go again. He knew he should let the boy have his space, but Moonbin didn’t need space at the moment. He needed comfort and someone to tell him everything would be ok. Jinwoo should have given him that much sooner.

He got up before Moonbin could disentangle himself from the sheets and sat down next to the boy.

“Hey, it’s ok. You’re ok, Binnie. Hyung is here with you. You don’t have to worry.”

Moonbin was crying, Jinwoo could tell from the tears soaking his shirt. But he didn’t pull away. Instead, he clung to Jinwoo in a way he had never done before, as if he had been craving this type of comfort his whole life. Jinwoo should definitely have noticed sooner.

“H-how, how did you get i-it?”

Asked Moonbin’s, still crying, and Jinwoo hadn’t expected the boy to speak at all, much less to ask something.

“How did I get what, Bin?”

He asked. Moonbin didn’t answer for a while, gripping Jinwoo’s shirt tighter.

“Fri-friend.”

He managed to say after a while. Jinwoo became even more surprised.

“Oh. I saw him in the trashcan. Told the boys to go ahead and stayed back to get it, because I know how much you love it.”

Moonbin didn’t reply. He just tightened his grip on Jinwoo’s shirt and continued to cry. Jinwoo let him.

 

“Bin.”

Dongmin called as soon as Jinwoo left the room.

He had woken up a while earlier to see the boy crying against Jinwoo, and had waited until the boy felt better to speak up, announcing that he was awake. From there Jinwoo had told both of them to change into comfortable clothes that weren’t pyjamas and meet him outside. They needed to have a talk.

Moonbin looked up at the sound of his name.

“Hyung?”

He replied. Dongmin walked closer, grabbing Moonbin’s hand.

“Please know that whatever happens today, I love you, ok?” Moonbin looked down. Dongmin made him look back up. “Ok?”

He pressed. Moonbin sighed.

“Hyung…”

He started. Dongmin refused to stop before he got what he meant through Moonbin’s thick head.

“I love you, Bin. So, so much. And nothing will ever change what I feel. Nothing. I know you’re upset about yesterday, and I know you don’t want to accept this side of yourself, but you need to. And I know it’s hard, so I want to help, but the only thing I can do is tell you that I’ll be with you no matter what.”

He saw Moonbin biting on his quivering lip and gently raised the boy’s head, kissing his cheek softly. It wasn’t natural, for him, to kiss his friends and hug them, and show affection through touch. But it was what Moonbin needed at the moment, and if Moonbin needed it, Dongmin was willing to do anything.

“I don’t think I can do this, hyung.”

Said Moonbin, and that was already a lot, because Moonbin was telling Dongmin that he couldn’t do something. He was showing his vulnerable side, and clearly asking Dongmin to help him.

“You can. You can, and I’ll be here with you to tell you that you can every time it gets too hard.”

He said. Moonbin sighed, looking down.

“What, what if they hate me?”

He asked, voice shaking. Dongmin’s heart was breaking. Maybe wanting to be physically close to Moonbin was actually natural to him. He just didn’t notice before.

“They won’t. And if they do I’ll lock them out of the dorms. And we won’t let them in ever again.”

He said. This made Moonbin chuckle a bit, his eyes crinkling up in his signature puppy smile. Then he sighed.

“I’m scared.”

He admitted. Dongmin took his hand.

“It’s ok to be scared. But you have me and you have Jinwoo hyung. We’ll keep you safe.”

He said. Moonbin looked at him, then took a shaky breath, standing up.

 

Everyone was already eating when Moonbin and Dongmin entered the room. Moonbin’s heart was racing, but Dongmin’s strong hand gripping his made him calm down a bit. Jinwoo looked up as they walked towards the table and smiled, making place for them, right next to him.

“Here, I saved you guys some food.”

He said. Moonbin glanced at Dongmin, who nudged him forward, then sat down next to Jinwoo. Soon he was squished between the leader and Dongmin, and it felt so incredibly safe. He never wanted to leave their side.

“Thank you, hyung.”

He mumbled. Jinwoo smiled at him sweetly.

Once they were all settled, Jinwoo spoke up.

“Alright. I know you guys have some questions, but please go slow, speak one at a time and wait for us to explain everything before judging. Ok?”

He said. Minhyuk, Myungjun and Sanha nodded. Sanha raised his hand, and everyone chuckled.

“I just want to know if Bin hyung is ok. Like, his physical health.”

He said. Moonbin felt his heart skip a beat. They were worried about him. He knew they had seen him in headspace the day before, and he knew they were probably wondering about why he had on diapers and a pacifier, but Sanha’s first question had been about his physical health. This gave Moonbin a little bit of hope. Jinwoo replied for him.

“He’s perfectly fine, his health is in perfect condition.”

He said. Sanha smiled. Myungjun spoke up.

“Why was he snapping at everyone yesterday? What made him so upset?”

Asked Myungjun. Moonbin saw Jinwoo glancing at him. He took a deep breath. To answer Myungjun, Jinwoo would have to tell them. Moonbin bit on his lip, then nodded.

“Well. Have you guys ever heard of age regression?”

 

Jinwoo explained age regression to the others very calmly and much better than Moonbin could have. The other three didn’t interrupt him, letting the leader speak and explain everything, like Jinwoo had asked them to. Moonbin could barely look at them. Jinwoo’s words made him feel embarrassed, made him want to hide. They made him vulnerable, and Moonbin hated feeling vulnerable. But Dongmin’s hands on his kept him grounded.

Once Jinwoo was done, Moonbin glanced around the room, at the other boys, fear creeping in his heart. But… none of the others seemed angry or disgusted. At all. Minhyuk was looking at him curiously, and Sanha and Myungjun were smiling softly. Moonbin blushed and looked down.

“You can ask questions if you want, guys.”

Said Jinwoo. Sanha was once again the first one to speak up.

“Hyung, do you really regress like that?”

He asked. Moonbin gripped his shirt tightly, but nodded.

“Y-yes.”

Sanha squealed, startling Moonbin, who looked up with eyes wide.

“That’s, like, super cute.”

Said the youngest, and Moonbin tilted his head.

“C-cute?”

He asked. Sanha nodded, and Minhyuk and Myungjun followed the action.

“It’s adorable! Aigo, you probably look so cute, Binnie.”

Said the oldest. Moonbin’s cheeks were burning, but his heart was strangely warm and soft.

“You don’t… find it weird?”

He asked, voice shaking. Dongmin squeezed his hand. Sanha huffed, seeming offended.

“Hyung, have a little trust in us.”

He said. Moonbin chuckled, and all of the others smiled too, as if seeing Moonbin happy made them happy. The idea made tears well up in the boy’s eyes.

“Hyung, are you crying?”

Asked Minhyuk, seeming a bit panicked. Moonbin pouted, angrily drying his eyes, because he hated crying in front of others.

“They’re stupid happy tears.”

He mumbled. All of the others laughed and Jinwoo pinched his cheeks.

“Our cute Moonbinnie.”

Said the leader. Moonbin blushed and swatted him away, but he was smiling. They accepted him. They didn’t think he was weird or a freak. They still loved him.

 

For the next few days the others randomly came up to Moonbin to ask him about his headspace. Sanha had cornered him in the bathroom the night after Moonbin told them.

“Hyung, do you suck on your thumb?”

He had asked. Moonbin had blushed bright red, but had nodded, to which Sanha had squealed.

“Cute.”

He had said, before walking away.

Minhyuk had been next, while they stretched before practice.

“Do you have a favourite toy?”

Had been his question. Moonbin had taken a second to process that, before whining at Minhyuk. The boy hadn’t been dissuaded, so Moonbin had sighed and answered.

“My stuffed puppy.”

He had mumbled. Minhyuk had smiled like he won the lottery, and had pinched Moonbin’s cheeks. Moonbin would never admit he kind of liked the treatment.

Myungjun had asked him about the kinds of toys he liked, and his favourite clothes. Sanha had asked about sippy cups and bottles, and had offered to tell Jinwoo that Moonbin wanted a bottle, even though Moonbin had denied that desire vehemently. And Minhyuk had asked Moonbin how old he was, to which Moonbin had quietly and embarrassedly replied with a timid ‘kinda young’.

Underlying all of those questions, however, Moonbin knew there was a key question. Which Sanha asked him a week after his secret had come out.

“Hyung, when can we see you in headspace?”

Moonbin froze. If he was being honest, he had been feeling little for the last four days or so. But the fact that the others knew and wanted to meet him in headspace was scary, and Moonbin had been feeling somewhat blocked. He fidgeted a bit, fisting the hem of his shirt in his hands.

“Uhn, I, it’s… it’s complicated.”

He said. Sanha tilted his head.

“Why? You’ve been… different these last few days. More childish, in a way. This means you’re close to slipping right? I read about that online.”

Moonbin blinked a few times, then felt his eyes watering. He pouted his lower lip in an attempt to contain the tears.

He didn’t know why he felt like crying. Maybe it was because Sanha had taken the time to look things up on his own, or maybe it was because the boy had been paying enough attention to notice Moonbin slipping. Or maybe it was because Moonbin was suddenly filled with the an overwhelming need to be little, but didn’t seem to be able to slip.

“I, I…”

He noticed Sanha’s eyes widening.

“Hyung? Oh my god, no, don’t cry, I didn’t mean to…”

Sanha’s panic made Moonbin feel even worse, and he could no longer contain his tears, hiding his face in his hands.

“Shit, sorry, I…”

He tried to say, but was promptly ignored by the younger, who was calling out for their leader. Moonbin felt frustration tightening his chest up, and he was about ready to burst when a hand held his, pulling it away from where he had apparently been gripping his own shirt.

“Binnie, hey. Calm down, buddy.”

The boy looked up, still crying, only to see Jinwoo looking at him softly. He sniffled. Jinwoo offered a soft smile.

“Hey, come on. Let’s go to hyung’s room and then we can talk, ok?”

Moonbin nodded, too tired to resist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what did you guys think?? Do you like it?? Comments are always appreciated ^.^


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